Designed, printed and shipped domestically because at least SOMETHING should go according to plan.
Free shipping over $75. Your plans to save money? Still working on it.
30-day guarantee. We can't fix your life, but we'll fix your order. That's something.
Anti-Inspirational Apparel
No "rise and grind". No "good vibes only". No motivational quotes from people who started with trust funds. Just shirts that tell the truth about the gap between intention and execution.
Plans Are Cute
Reality Is Cuter
You've got goals. You've got intentions. You've got a whole list of things you'll "definitely start Monday."
Or you could just wear this shirt and call it a day.
My wife can slam a car door hard enough to wake the neighbors but needs me for every jar in the house. The duality of marriage captured in one shirt.
Wore this to Costco. First person laughed. Second person asked where I got it. Third person took a photo. I peaked in life.
I've given up on clean mirrors. This shirt understands my surrender better than my therapist does.
Showed this to my friend who moved to New York for 'the dream.' She laughed for 10 seconds, then stared silently for 30. Perfect shirt.
Orders typically arrive within 4 - 6 business days after purchase.
Sometimes faster, occasionally slower. Life happens, but we keep things moving.
Not yet. We currently ship within the US only. We're keeping things simple while we perfect the domestic operation and work on not messing up international customs forms.
International shipping is on the roadmap, right next to "learn to fold fitted sheets" and "actually use that gym membership". Check back soon.
Yes. Once your order ships, you'll receive tracking information via email so you can obsessively refresh the tracking page like the rest of us.
Unlike your New Year's resolutions, this one you can actually follow through on.
Love your apparel or your money back.
If your item arrives damaged, defective, or we somehow sent you the wrong thing (hey, we're human), we'll gladly refund or replace it. Just reach out within 30 days of your purchase.
If you ordered the wrong size or changed your mind, we're not able to offer refunds, but we're always happy to help with sizing questions before you order. Check the Size Guide on the product page, or email us. We'd rather you get it right the first time.
TL;DR: We'll fix our mistakes. We can't fix yours, but we'll try to prevent them.
Most of our shirts are Gildan 64000 Softstyle tees made from 100% cotton for a soft, breathable everyday feel. Some heather colors use cotton-poly blends for added durability, but comfort is always the priority.
Think of it like this: the shirt quality is reliable. Your follow-through on wearing it to the gym? That's on you.
Wash cold, inside out. Tumble dry low or hang dry. Don't iron directly on the design.
Basically, treat it with a little care and it'll stick around, unlike your sourdough starter from 2020.
TL;DR: Normal laundry. Don't overthink it. You've got enough on your plate.
True to size with a standard unisex fit. Comfortable and not too tight.
If you're between sizes or unsure, check the size chart on each product page. It's actually helpful, not just decoration.
Still unsure? Email us. We'd rather spend 2 minutes helping you pick the right size than deal with "I should've sized up" regret later.
Fit guarantee: The shirt will fit. Your life plan? Still working on that.
